Gender Based Violence Prevention

KOMUJUNI BETTY

Family Affair

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence in simple terms is abuse and violent acts between family members. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological or technological actions or threats of actions or other patterns of coercive behavior that influence another person within an intimate partner relationship.

In Mitooma, most risky behavior takes place in families between a wife and husband, the children, in laws and workers at home. In homes, children are kicked, punched, hit or beaten up by parents for minor offences such as breaking a cup or spilling milk. Children are burnt or scalded with hot water.

Properties which range from land and houses owned by the deceased are usually grabbed by the family members who feel they have the right to claim them. The grabbing of this kind \ destabilizes the once stable family. Brothers of the deceased attempt forceful inheritance to the widow against her will and consent which is against the 1995 Constitution of the republic of Uganda. This has escalated into violence particularly where a woman puts up resistance.

It has been observed that poverty is the major cause of domestic violence in communities. In a family where basic needs are lacking quarrels become an order of the day. A woman feels the husband is not doing enough and a man feels the woman is lazy, extravagant or not appreciative and arguments and quarrels begin which sometimes lead in fights.

Lack of communication

When there is no proper communication between the family members, one is bound to misunderstand the other. This contributes to mistrust and personal insecurities which leads to actions that are not appropriate.

Sexual dissatisfaction

This leads to promiscuity, adultery, fornication and ends in diseases like HIV and other actions like producing children out of wedlock. This vice coerces the unsatisfied partner to seek solace outside marriage and sometimes even in the witchdoctors for divine protection and intervention that in turn leads to sorcery. This is one of the biggest causes of domestic violence once the partner discovers the other was not faithful, fights erupt and this can even result in death.

Redundancy

When people have a lot of time at hand and its not used, rumor mongering erupts, women starting fighting their husbands and other family members over useless chatter that was all caused by lack of what to do. Some women find others in their gardens or homes and rumors begin and people say rumors are “sweet” but at the end spoil the once good, trusting and comfortable hearts. Self-insecurities and lack of self-esteem start, advice to visit a witch doctor for a solution appear or may be to also get a secret lover in order to also make the other “feel” it.

Excessive possessiveness of the partner

Some partners get so possessive that if they see their partners discussing anything with another person, they automatically think they have slept together or are going to. This brings too much misunderstandings between the couple that later causes fights, separation and divorce, children get out of school hence school drop outs and sometimes even death. All these unnecessary fights lead to unproductivity and lack of harmony but the only song in that home is woes and tears.

Lack of cleanliness and proper hygiene

In a home where everything is dirty and untidy, fights are always around the corner because the man will always be attracted to a cleaner environment and often go for those who can offer it and when the one home realizes the husband spends more time out there at another woman’s place, fights begin and a lot of things go wrong. Some women can take months without changing their bedsheets, or clothes on their bodies or brushing their teeth. This brings discomfort ability at home and arises arguments and quarrels.

What can a woman do to control or fight Domestic violence in Family?

They say that, “women are like tea bags; we do not know our strength until we are in hot water”. Women can change the nation once empowered and given the right skills.

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